Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
