Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This is my gift to your gina
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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