im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Someone shattered a urinal.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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