He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
