My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
