I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
