Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
