if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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