i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
