I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
how drunk are you?
Several
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
