What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
