How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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