i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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