Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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