Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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