No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
