is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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