i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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