Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
How's work?
Spinning.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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