You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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