I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
it's like iHOP with fire
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
