I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
