I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
