What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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