apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize