She announced her abortion via fbk
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
