I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
