I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
