He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
