he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
