bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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