I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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