Screwed.edu
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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