She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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