I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
