i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
