i barfeds in our rink
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
