She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
