Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
