On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
