I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
