Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
