So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This is the high leading the old right now
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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