He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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