it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
