Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
