you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
