dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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