I'm laying in your front yard are you home
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
