Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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