i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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