I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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