In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize