You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
