Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
