I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
