Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
