im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
