haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
