so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
