dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
