Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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