Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
