Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
