After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
