I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
