I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
