They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
