i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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