There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
